bfi – canaries – 1 flight up

There’s nothing left for me
Of things that used to be
When you deserted me
Except some souvenirs;
I didn’t want the stuff:
It only gathers fluff
And I’ve got quite enough
Without your souvenirs.
Who needs a stuffed giraffe,
Disraeli’s photograph,
A chap called Bickerstaffe?
It leads to complications;
I count them every day
And I can only say:
Please take your junk away;
Remove your souvenirs.

A partly smoked cheroot,
A left-foot rubber boot,
Some decomposing fruit
Among my souvenirs;
A pair of bathing drawers,
Assorted apple cores,
A set of folding doors
[Spoken: And how the hell they got there I shall never know.]
Among my souvenirs.
Oh, if I had my way
I’d throw it all away.
I think it’s here to stay;
The Council won’t remove it.
Of china there’s a load;
Some Derbyshire and Spode
And half an old commode
Among my souvenirs.

Transcription thanks to…

Series 4, Episode 12 according to bbc.co.uk.